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yourself January 14, 2010 Thursday

Posted by mrvangeldren in Belleville.
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I feel as though freshman year was so long ago. It may be to soon to be talking about this since I am not leaving high school, but things aren’t the same as they used to be. The friends I thought I would keep “forever” have slowly became just plain old acquaintances with the exception of a select few. It seems though that in the process of losing friends I have found a bit of myself, but not myself fully. Sometimes I am kind of jealous of those people who can say with confidence that they know who they are and that they won’t change for anyone, but in the back of my head I always wonder if they believe what they say. I mean is it just a facade to make people think that they have confidence, to intimidate others to thinking they have matured.

Honestly, I miss freshman year. I lived in the moment. It was a time where I could be stupid and careless and still think I was the coolest kid around. When in the real stream of things I was just an awkward kid who was trying to fit in.

I think as I got older I got to see the reality of things. Especially now that I am nearing my college years.

I hope I can find myself in college because right now I am having so much trouble trying to find where I belong.

P.S. I got into Rutgers!

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